Rickitty Kitty Cat
by uthot
Summary: Morty finds out Rick likes cats.


"Morty, here!" Rick shouted, tossing the extra plasma gun into Morty's desperate hands.

"Why didn't you just give this to me in the first place?!" Morty retaliated, firing a few shots behind his back along with Rick.

"You really think I want you having a gun all the time, Morty? I know you didn't see that note when you tried to kill me that one time, Morty! I - I would be dead in a few hours if you shot at me every other time you got pissed!"

Damn. He knew about that? Whatever. Good. Morty decided not to waste any more breath screaming at him. Even though he was used to running for his life, it didn't mean he had the lungs of a fucking Olympic athlete. And right now, they were just lucky they could shoot a few of the dogs down behind them, most being slow and wounded.

Where they were now was overrun by killer, mutant dogs, a fact Rick conveniently left out when he said they had to go "gather some precious, precious DNA samples" from a "very unique species, Morty" on a different planet. That species being fucked up dogs on a post-apocalyptic version of Earth. Not that Morty was surprised in the slightest that they were, once again, in peril.

"Morty, I would open up the portal now but they would just follow us through! We gotta gun 'em all down Morty, and then we're good!" He fired another few shots over his shoulder as they sprinted down the street and a huge, muscled Doberman dropped to the ground with a howl. The other dogs growled, their eyes wild and mouths frothing with thick, dribbling bubbles of foam.

Morty repeated the action, shooting a Poodle with a huge scar over its eye through the head. It flopped down without a noise, tripping a matted Golden Retriever in the process. "Okay, Rick!" He was getting exhausted, knew he couldn't keep running forever. He quickened his shots.

It only took another couple of minutes - they had thinned the mob out quite efficiently considering the numbers. Finally, with a moment to rest and no feral dogs in sight, they stopped to catch their breath, hearts pounding viciously.

"Woooo, Morty! That was awesome! And there's a whole trail of DNA in our wake!" Rick walked back to the closest dog-corpse (another retriever) and starting filling various vials with hair, blood, and saliva.

"Whatever, Rick." Morty was past getting angry... most of the time. He knew what to expect on adventures. And it's not like he didn't like it, at this point. It was like Rick was a meth-head or something who forced him to take a hit out of his bubble one too many times, and now he was helplessly addicted. Except, the meth was adrenaline. And the bubble was his portal gun. Or something.

"Yeah, whatever MooOOURRrrty. Alright, we can go home n - " Rick stopped suddenly, arm extended grasped the portal gun, midway through shooting a portal back home. He had a faraway look in his eyes.

"W - what is it, Rick?" Morty asked cautiously, shifting from foot to foot. Rick didn't often stop in the middle of a sentence like that.

"Shhh!" Rick held up a finger, eyes wide. "Do you hear that, Morty?"

Morty squinted at him and listened nervously. He didn't - oh, wait. Yeah, he heard it. High-pitched, soft little meows coming from somewhere close by. A… cat?

"W - wow Rick, i - it's a cat. I can't believe that it's still, like, alive. Y - you'd think there wouldn't be a single cat left on this planet, huh?"

Rick furrowed his brow. He stayed like that for a moment but ended up lowering his raised arm, along with the portal gun. "We gotta - gotta go get the cat, Morty," he said, and started jogging in the direction of the noises.

"Y - yeah, Ri - wait, what? Why?" Morty asked, confounded. He followed anyway, glancing around furtively, on the lookout for murderous pooches.

"W - what, Morty? We just gotta get it! D - don't start asking questions now, Morty, you were doing so well today keeping your mouth shut." He paid no attention to Morty's annoyed grumbling at that. Instead, he was quickly locating the origin of the sound of frightened mewling. They came to stand below a long dead tree in front of a dilapidated house. At the top, huddled in the highest cluster of branches that would hold its weight was a pitiful brown and gray tabby cat, mewling at them helplessly. Morty felt a twinge of pity looking into its wide, yellow eyes.

Without another word, Rick began to scale the tree, expertly swinging from branch to branch like a monkey. Morty had to admit, that man was strong as hell for his age, pulling himself up like that.

Rick reached the top pretty quickly, but he couldn't get higher on the branches because they would break under his weight. Instead, he hugged the trunk and tried not to sway the entirety of the brittle tree too much. He stretched his arms up as far as they would go, clenching the trunk between his thighs hard in order to not fall. It hurt like a bitch.

"Here, kitty," Rick cooed, wiggling his fingers. The cat stared at him fearfully and unmoving. His huge, yellow eyes were still fixated on him.

"Come here, you little bitch," Rick continued, keeping his tone as kind as he could even while swearing. "Come here, you stupid fuck, we're literally your only shot at survival."

Morty looked around nervously. "Uhh, Rick - I know you probly - probly don't want me to question your sudden k - kindness, but shouldn't we just - you know, leave?" Rick paid him no mind, still trying to coax the cat into his hands, which were shaking a little in exertion at this point. He grunted impatiently. "Stupid fucking animal."

Suddenly, Morty heard a familiar noise that sent cold shivers of dread through his spine. Angry barking. His head snapped around to look towards the noise, as Rick's did too. He finally had the cat in his arms and had started to shimmy down. About fifty feet away, there was a mottled German Shepard that looked remarkably bloodthirsty whipping its tail back and forth. Not in the cute, "I love you" kind of way either. It was more like a, "I'm about to run at you and rip you piece by piece until you're just a pile of bones and organs" kind of way.

"Oh, fuck me in the ass," Rick groaned. "Morty, go!" He shot a portal below him, a few feet from where Morty was standing right as the dog started to charge at them with a terrifying speed.

Morty squeaked (embarrassing, but he wasn't gonna think about that right now) and jumped through the portal. He fell from the roof of the garage onto the hard concrete ten feet below, nearly breaking his wrists in the process. Not a second later, the cat came soaring through the same opening right towards Morty, yowling with its claws out. Rick had obviously thrown it down. Morty managed to roll out of the way just in time - the cat landed harmlessly on its feet and immediately bolted under the shelf, terrified.

" - out of the way, Morty!" Rick shouted as he flew down a moment later. Luckily, Morty was already out of the way, and merely had to watch as the rabid dog came down, growling viciously in the space Rick had just somersaulted away from. Two quick, successive shots to the head later, the creature was dead on the ground, tongue flopped out and leaking foam all over the floor.

"Oh man, Rick, that - that was too close," Morty said, staring in moderate disgust at the corpse. Rick shot another portal onto the floor, grunting as he slowly pushed the body through it. All that was left to suggest the dog's existence was a streak of mud and some fur. Rick grinned at him.

"I portaled the dog into space, Morty. It's just floating around somewhere. Some poor motherfucker is just gonna happen upon that in their ship. Just a fucking dead dog in the middle of nowhere. I - isn't that funny, Morty?"

"Not really."

Rick looked at him, his typically disinterested expression back in place. "W - whatever Morty. You're boring. W - where's the cat? Where's that cat gone off to?"

"O - oh, umm… I think he - it ran under there." Morty pointed to the shelf he'd seen the cat squeeze under. "Hey, why did you save that cat anyway, Rick? Do you… need it for some other science stuff?"

Rick was on his knees, peering under the shelf. "W - what Morty, I save a defenseless animal and it's - it's weird, or something? You saying I'm evil, Morty?"

"Not… evil…" Morty said slowly. "But you're not exactly a saint, Rick. You know that. I mean, you've literally killed people for like - no reason, Rick. Why do you care about a - a dumb cat?"

Rick huffed, finally sitting upright with a less panicked, but still pretty scared cat in his arms. Looking a bit closer, Morty saw how skinny it was, ribs poking through thin fur. A couple patches of pink skin showed an absence of said fur. Most of what was remaining was clumped together with dirt. Even then, he had to admit the cat was pretty fucking adorable.

"Maybe I just like cats, Morty," Rick grumbled, absently stroking the fur on the cat's head. The cat slowly closed its eyes and started to purr. "They're better than dogs, at any rate. I know I might be a little biased… because of what just happened. B - b - but I've always preferred cats, Morty. Dogs just piss me off. They're so mindlessly obedient. They don't think for themselves, Morty, you know I hate that. They're needy. They remind me of people. Actually, they - they kind of remind me of you, Morty. That - that kind of sounds like you, right?"

"No," Morty ground out between his clenched teeth. "Not really. I disagree anyway. At least dogs aren't selfish, they - they care about their owners. Cats don't give a fuck about anything but themselves, Rick. Oh!" Morty feigned surprise. "W - wow, Rick! That kind of sounds like you, right?"

Rick glared at him. "Yeah, maybe that is me. For good reason, too, considering everyone I know is nothing but an annoying waste of space to me." He looked pointedly at Morty.

"You're fucking - God, you're impossible." Morty just huffed at him. He knew by now Rick didn't really mean that. At least, he was pretty sure, at this point. Ever since he gave him his collar after time broke, really, he was pretty sure.

Rick wasn't listening. He was looking down at the cat, scratching its little head, putting it damn near to sleep with pleasure. And… Morty realized something.

Rick really liked cats. Like, a lot.

That was the only explanation, right? Rick really doesn't have much respect for life in general, especially those that have their fates sealed, in a sense. This is one of the few times Morty's seen him go out of his way to change that fate… for a cat, no less. With the way Rick was gazing down at the furry little thing, eyes just barely betraying him with their soft light, that had to be it.

Morty smirked. "Well, I'm going to my room now, Rick. Outstanding adventure, really - really blew me out of the water, so to speak. Have fun - have fun not caring about a single living thing other than yourself, Rick," Morty teased him as he opened the door to leave. Rick grunted, not really caring. He just pet the cat.

The next day, Morty waltzed into the garage, ready to make fun of Rick for having feelings. It was very unRick of him, after all. Currently, his grandfather was tinkering with what looked like an engine.

"Is that for the spaceship?" Morty inquired.

"Morty, can you stop calling it a 'spaceship'? I mean, d - do you call boats 'waterships'?" Rick mumbled absently, not stopping to look behind him as usual.

Morty just smiled mischievously, not put off in the slightest. "Wow, Rick. You know, your heart doesn't seem real - too into insulting me today. Isn't your cat bringing you all kinds of fluffy joy?"

Rick was quiet for a moment. The only noise was the light, metallic clanging emanating from his project. "I gave him - I looked at his dick, by the way, he's a he - I gave him to a shelter."

Morty gaped at him. "What? Rick, why? Why would you do that?"

Rick finally swiveled around to face him, giving a monumental eye roll in the process. "It's a no-kill shelter, Morty. Don't - don't go shitting your pants, now."

"But, Rick…" Morty trailed off, his mood to make fun of Rick gone now. The man in question raised his brow at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. "I thought you really liked cats."

Rick looked at him for a second, then turned the chair back around to continue doing whatever he was doing. "Just because I like cats doesn't mean I can take care of one, Morty," he said quietly, shoulders hunched. "I'm not… responsible enough. I wouldn't be able to look after it all the time. You know me."

Morty stood there, contemplating this. He looked at Rick's (tense?) shoulders, his unruly hair, his messy makeshift laboratory.

"Yeah, I - I guess so," he mused. Rick grunted in response, and that was that. The matter was discussed, it was finished.

But it wasn't. Not really.

Morty had an idea.

Later, that same day, it was nearing dinnertime when Morty returned to the house. His grin was big enough to light up a Christmas tree.

"Oh, Riii-iiiick," he sung into the house as he walked towards the garage. "I got you a present!" He cried, flinging upon the garage door with a bang. Rick started violently, dropping his tool to the floor with a clatter.

"Jesus, fuck! What the fuck, Morty? Why are you - " Rick swung around to glare at him angrily, but stopped and stared, mouth open, when he saw what was in Morty's grinning arms. A black kitten with sleepy green eyes peered at him curiously through the furry tufts above his eyes. Rick gaped. It was so fucking cute.

"What… what's its name," Rick asked softly as he stared. Morty's grin seemed to get even wider.

"W - well Rick, her name is whatever you want it to be," Morty said slyly. "She's yours."

Rick looked happy at this, but it didn't take long for his face to turn into a scowl. "Morty, d - didn't I tell you yesterday? I can't take care of a cat, I - I just don't have the time. Or the energy. Or the love in my old, withered heart."

Morty looked like he was expecting this and just smirked. Rick looked at him questioningly now. "O - okay, maybe she's not yours, exactly. She's mine. The family's. Everyone's been lonely since Snuffles died, and they said it was fine. I - I mean, dad's a little allergic to cats, but who - no one really cares." Now Morty looked at him hopefully. "You can play with her anytime, and… she really likes… to cuddle?"

Rick stared.

"She's from a kill shelter, too," Morty added. "I think being with this stupid family is better than… dying. I mean, probably."

They stayed there in silence for a moment. Rick, looking at Morty with a blank expression, who was mentally praying for Rick to accept this.

Then slowly, ever so slowly, Rick said, "whatever, Morty."

The smile on his face was huge.


End file.
